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Most tv shows and movies will have you believing that someone's first heartbreak occurs around high school age... (Disclaimer: Of course there can be other non-romantic relationship related heartbreaks that occur in your life, and those are absolutely valid and painful and real as well. But this story is about breaking up with a partner.) I started dating this girl in September 2020. Our first date was perfect. Then a month later I asked her to be my girlfriend. In the months that followed we celebrated her birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day. We held hands, went to the art museum, walked around the city. Every time we were together was another little memory. Another little piece of me being altered by being with this person whom I loved. Then she got a job 800 miles away. We decided to try long distance. A few days before she left I realized that it wasn't going to work between us. And we broke up. I'm 24 years old and going through my first heartbreak now. You need t...

 Happy 2021! We have arrived. (I know I'm late, just pretend?) I've been wanting to write another post here for a while, but I haven't been able to get around to it until now. So much has changed. The obvious, globally, which is COVID-19 impacting every facet of our lives, and the less obvious, personally, in my own life. Since May, I have completed another fall semester of college, part online and part in-person. I am beyond grateful to have been on campus, even a little bit, for a few classes last year. I was also able to achieve straight A's, which in this season has been extra difficult. I am proud of myself. January 19th was my first day back to class for the spring semester, and... it's much like it was 8 months ago. But despite how different and difficult things have been, I have hopes. But my biggest, most exciting change as of October 2020, is me being in my first official relationship. I'm cuffed y'all! On this day three years ago (2018!), I wrote ...

I've been thinking a lot about faith, God, religion, and Christianity in the past year or two. As a middle and high-school student, my faith grew and blossomed. I went to church (and loved it) every week, I participated in the weekly youth small group, I prayed multiple times a day, and I attempted to read my Bible consistently, daily. Then... something happened. Something changed. I'm still not sure what, but I began to look at life and faith and God differently. Now if you're reading this and feeling sorry for me because you view this as "backsliding" or "veering off of the right path," don't. Let me explain. I had truly begun to question some of the teachings of the church, the way the Bible is often interpreted, and my own personal views and beliefs when it comes to faith or religion. In May of 2019, I left my church that I'd been a part of for almost 9 years. I'd been feeling a tug to go, to move on, for a while. I p...

Shit. Is. Crazy. I realize that I haven't written here in a while, and for that I apologize, mostly to myself. Writing is something that I really enjoy, but I've been so busy with school, then, well, you know... Honestly I think we have ALL heard enough about the Coronavirus Pandemic by now, wouldn't you agree? I personally have been out of work and taking classes online since mid-March. I am grateful that my family and I are taken care of and healthy. I am grateful, as I started a new medication recently, and this is a good time for my body to adjust to it. I am grateful that I've gotten to work out way more. It makes me feel strong as hell, and slightly more sane. I am grateful that my friends are well. Despite all of the absolute insanity, uncertainty, and anxiety, I am grateful. (Side note: I also really want a hug, like, so badly. Shout out to my fellow "physical touch is my love language" people.) Being home I've also gotten to organize an...

Another year has come and is almost gone. I can't believe it, but I'm ready. This is the first decade that I really remember. I went from finishing 8th grade, to high school, then starting college. I grew, I learned, I laughed, I cried. As we all did. Again and again I am overwhelmed with amazement, love, and pride for human resiliency, for those who exhibit it. For people who get up over and over, finding deeper strength in their most difficult trials. I am so proud of you. Of me. Of all of us who are still here and giving life hell. This past year alone, I didn't realize how strong and brave I had been until I looked back. 2019 was the year of Courage and Health. The past few years I have picked a word or two to embody as a New Years Goal. (Before that, I had overwhelmed myself with way too many overly ambitious goals that I almost never accomplished.) Anyway, Courage and Health were actually two things I rolled over from the previous year, because I wanted to ...

This is going to be the bloggiest blog post I've written so far. Yesterday was the winter solstice, and even though it sure has been feeling like winter here for some time, now it's official. So I thought I'd do a brief post on three of my favorite products that I use in the winter! The first is Carmex lip balm. This comes in a tube, a stick, and a little pot. Right now I'm using the stick, as it's the most convenient. This stuff is magic y'all. Nothing soothes and smooths my lips like this. I put it on every night before bed, and once it gets cold (like now) I use it throughout the day as well. The biggest con with this is that it'll leave some pretty sticky lip marks on your water glass. But that is a small price to pay for all the pros. Carmex retails for about $2.79 at my local Target for a pack of three. The second is Hemp Hand Protector Hand Cream from the Body Shop. This moisturizer is INCREDIBLE. It doesn't matter ...

Three months later, and I have completed my first semester of full time college. Four classes, three finals, and countless moments and memories made. In September I wrote a post about how college was a lot harder than I expected. The friendship and connection that I so deeply craved was not happening. A month and a half later near the end of October, I felt like I was beginning to make friends, but I was still so terribly self conscious. "Do these people actually like me?" "Am I being annoying?" Never in my life have I remembered feeling so unsure about making friends. Then fast forward to the beginning of December, when I decided to stop taking every little thing personally (They didn't say goodbye, they must hate me), and ACCEPT that these people actually want to be my friends and spend time with me. How silly am I to think that I am being annoying and people are simply tolerating me when they go out of their way to invite me to places and text me first...