I care what people think about me

WHY do we care what people think so much?
This is a question that I think about all the time.
Why do I care and what can I do about it?
I suppose I'm afraid of being harshly judged. Maybe I'm afraid of being laughed at or ridiculed.
Perhaps I fear being ostracized from certain social circles because I'm "that weird girl."

Not caring what people think is a lot easier for me to put into practice online.
You can rehearse, you can post things that disappear in 24 hours... There's this barrier between you and the rest of the world. You aren't face to face with someone. You aren't out in the world, you're behind a screen. You have some level of protection. It's "safer."

I've been fighting with myself and my own self-consciousness and fear for a long time now.
I have really good days where I feel free from the judgement and opinions of others.
But I more often have regular or bad days where I'm held down by what I believe people might be thinking of me.
Might.

I shouldn't care what a stranger might think of me. I shouldn't care what they think about me at all!
I don't even know this person! It's unlikely that I'll ever see them again. If I do, I doubt they'll remember me. Of all the things going on in their life, our short attention spans, they're not even going to remember!
But okay, what if they do.
What if they do remember that super embarrassing thing you did.
Uhm, ok??
Big Picture: Life is short, one day we'll all pass away, and then what?
Will we still be thinking about that super embarrassing thing that stranger saw us do? We just KNOW they were judging us for it when they saw us those other two times in our entire life.
Let's be real. It's really not going to matter.

I shouldn't care too much what my classmates think of me. Or my co-workers, my friends, or family.
There is a point where you may have to be professional for work, and this or that, but otherwise you shouldn't care too much.
Do your thing, but be respectful.

I want to be free from the invisible constraints of what society deems "normal" behavior.
Deep down, we all have a weird streak. Right?

This year I picked two words to focus on instead of having a whole list of New Years Goals.
One of those words was Courage.
Courage, bravery, boldness... These are things I want to improve about myself. Traits I want to strengthen and sharpen.
So, I'm going to start giving myself challenges. Big or small, anything that makes me stand out or be noticed by others in public is DANGEROUS.
In my mind, this is terrifying.
"They're going to think I'm weird. Oh my gosh they're going to laugh at me. I'm going to be filmed and put on Twitter."
That fear stops this year.
That fear gets silenced, or muffled at least, this year.
I'm going to put in the work.

I think I'd like to document these challenges and encourage you to try some too!
Almost everyone cares what people think to some degree.
When you feel like you're being choked by it, it's gotta go.

I wish us the best of luck.
To courage!
To bravery!
To caring less about the judgements of others!
Do your thing, be free, but be respectful. Be kind.

Here's to dancing in the aisles at Target, friends.

See ya.