Ugly

Repeat after me.
My worth is not in my looks.
My worth is not in my looks
My worth is not in my looks.

I'm staring myself down in the bathroom mirror, leaning over the sink as I repeat these words to myself. The way I look and my worth have become more intertwined than I realized.
I want to disconnect the two.

The number of pimples that you can count on your skin doesn't make you any less lovable.
The amount of fat on your body doesn't make you any less worthy.
The size of your nose,
The hair on your body that society tells you does not belong,
The frizziness of your hair,
None of these things should define or shape your worth.
And yet...
It's as if you are not worth loving unless you're beautiful.
But that's bs.
You're lovable and worthy no matter how you look.

When you have people telling you you're beautiful all the time, you start to put your worth in that.
And when you aren't made up, when your "bad skin" is showing, when your forehead is shinier than a Tiffany diamond, you feel like you're maybe not so worthy.
And that if people saw you bare faced they'd be disappointed.

Most of the time, people aren't even looking at you and thinking, "They're ugly," like we may think about ourselves.
Who taught us to be so hard on ourselves?

A good friend of mine said, "You don't owe it to anyone to be 'pretty.' You're allowed to just show up as you are, and you should."

The less you care about what others might be thinking, the more you accept yourself as you are, the farther you go in disconnecting your appearance with your worth, the better off you will be.
It sounds so easy, but I know it's much more difficult than that.

To end, I wanted to include a Tumblr post that I found the other day.
It's what really got me thinking about this...


(Side Note: Nothing is wrong with building yourself and others up. Nothing is wrong with calling others beautiful. Please do that. Please do more of that.)


...See ya.


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