Unnamed

It feels heavy. Like an anchor has attached itself to you. Like a lead weight is tied to your heart. You look out your window and the sun is shining and you can hear your little neighbors laughing and everything is beautiful, but... you don't feel any happiness. All the colors are kind of muted and everything blurs. Sleep is an escape, and you crave it so you can forget for a little while. Even when you feel like you cannot function, the world is still moving. Nothing stops for you, and time goes on while you try to fight through it & figure stuff out. You might cry a lot. This is how depression feels. Or how it may feel. Everyone struggles and experiences it differently. I have mild- moderate depression, and tend to fight with seasonal depression as well. I've never been "officially" diagnosed by a doctor or health professional. This makes me often feel like a fake, because my pain has not been validated by someone who knows what the...

I don't like people worrying about me. My family, my friends, complete and utter strangers. I do admit, it's nice to have someone be gently concerned for you every once in a while. It can make you feel like you're still seen and cared about. But most of the time, I hate to make someone worry. This is part of the reason why it's so hard for me to tell my parents about my mental illness. I feel guilty, bad, heartbroken, for making them worry more than they have to. My heart twists when I feel like I may be spending a little too much time in solitude, lying on my bed, for my mom to grow concerned and worry over me. I feel sick with guilt when I forget to text my parents and I get home much later than expected. I have to often slip away to a bathroom, or outside, when I start to feel ill as a result of anxiety when I'm out with friends. Rather than tell them what's going on, and have them worry about me. Rather than have them suggest we go, and leave me wi...